Courage, Bravery, and all things Potter
by MissLinuxthePenguin
Summary: Lily & her alter ego decide to have a RAMBLING PARTY! The topic? Courage, Bravery, and all things Potter. Rating due references to drugs. After being told that there may be other girls Lily decides that there's only one way to skin an alter ego...[LJ]
1. Rambling 101

Courage, Bravery, and All Things Potter

MissLinuxthePenguin

**Chapter :** Rambling 101

**Summary : **Lily and her alter-ego/voice-in-head/conscience thing decide to have a ... RAMBLING PARTY! topic? courage, bravery, and all things potter. Rating due to many many references to mead. and drug dealing

**rating :** T for TEEN.

**Dedication: **I dedicate this fic to Webster's Online Dictionary for their defintion of courage.Which was the cause of this fic. Along with enough sugar to take over the world_ Def. Courage : mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty - Webster's Online Dictionary_

**A/N :** I WOULD LIKE IT TO BE SAID, FOR THE RECORD..

i'm not :a) a drug dealer; b) a drug addict; or c) a druggie

nor do i think that any of the harry potter characters are ; drug dealers, drug addicts, or druggies

so there!

**disclaimer:** jk rowling owns harry potter. but she doesn't own the mead! giggles insanely oh, also the whole heinous comment thing i stole from the madagascar movie. so i don't own that. either. sigh i don't own anything . not even the mead! (see A/N above)

* * *

Inside Lily's Head and On the Piece of Parchment in the ead girl's hand.

* * *

Courage? Bravery? Supposedly, thats what Gryffindors are.

_you don't have those qualities_

DON'T INTERRUPT ME. AS I WAS SAYING... And I do not dare to contradict such beliefs, but all I must ask is..

Am I really a Gryffindor then?

Nope. I lack all two of the aforementioned qualities.

_i just said that!_

BUT YOU INTERRUPTED ME. SO YOUR HEINOUS (see disclaimer) COMMENT WAS STRICKEN FROM THE RECORD.

_fine . fine. don't get your knickers in a twist._

BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING! Courage and Bravery.

Me, Myself, and my alter-egos COUGH

_i heard that._

were destined to be ravenclaws.

_speak for yourself_

But apparent, the sorting hat was high that night and got just a tad bit confus-le-ed.

_just a tad bit high? well, you know what... i think YOU'RE A TAD BIT HIGH_

And stuck me, book-nerd geeky Lily Evans in Gryffindor. Alongside a messrs Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew.

_messrs?_

Those four were probably the souls in question who had slipped the sorting hat mead.

_i took you this long to realize that?_

GASP THEY DID. On purpose. Just so I would be sorted into the same house and, in turn, be forced to deal with their mead-induced antics!

_here we go with the conspiracy theories..._

The mauraders are simply a bunch of mead-drin- wait. Do you drink mead or smoke it?

_sigh you are stupid, aren't you_

Regardless, they are a bunch of mead users and dealers. And too think, I thought Lupin was the smart one! Black seems the more drug dealishly type to me. The Drug Ring Leader.

_BLACK! HA. He doesn't have what it takes._

Potter?

Hm... That actually makes more sense. Potter the drug-dealer...

Well, regardless of his drug-dealing-tendencies I still love h-

WHAT!

I WHAT?

_YOU ADMITTED IT. FINALLY! WHOOP!_

I ... don't.

I mean I hate him.

_Sure you do, that explains why you just spent.. what a roll of parchment on his possible drug dealing escapades? _

No, I'm head girl and as head girl I'm responsible for making sure the head boy and his aforementioned friends are not drug dealers/addicts

_Keep telling yourself that. Do you even remember why you started writing?_

OH! YAH! Because I'm not brave enough to tell...

Oh shit.

_Yah.. Oh Shit..._

OH DOUBLE SHIT

_sigh_

OH SHIT SHIT SHIT.

_you are very draft, you know that dear?_

NO YOU DON'T. YOU SHALL NOT GO CALLING ME DRAFT, I AM UNDER EXTREME PRESSURE HERE BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR.. YOUR NAGGING! YOU ...

DAMN YOU.

_rolls eyes just tell him. it can't be THAT bad._

sure it can. what do i say to him? Hey, Potter, I love you and want to snog your brains out, fancy finding a broom closet with me?

_yup._

I WAS... hits head on table BEING hits head on table SARCASTIC

_aww.. unrequited young love._

* * *

LATER (in normal PoV)

* * *

_"Hey Potter?" _

_"Yah Evans,"_

_".. um.. er.. i need to ask you something"_

_"Anything for you, Evans"_

_"...um... do you smoke mead or drink it?"_

_"MOONY! GET OVER HERE. PRONGS JUST FAINTED!"_

_

* * *

_

A/N: Review? Flame? Answer my mead questioN? Please-k-thanx

MissLinuxthePenguin


	2. AlterEgos&Automated Answering Machines

Courage, Bravery, and all things Potter

Chapter : Knickers and Automated Answering Machines

A/N: yup, i said this was a one shot.. but the plot bunny stole my new shoes...

and they were REALLY REALLY cute shoes...

evil glare at plot bunny

so he says he'll give them back if i write his story...

* * *

In the Head Girl's Head

* * *

Stupid.. Potter.. Kill.. Maim

_what the hell did he do to get your knickers in a twist.._

_or should i say NOT do?_

I'm not going to dignify that with an answer...

stupid.. potter.. maim.. kill..

_OH! _

_This is about whats-her-name-hufflepuff-hoar, isn't it?_

... maybe.

_rolls eyes_

DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME!

_mocking voice: NEEE. DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME!_

_Anyway, its your own fault, you arse._

NO ITS NOT.

_Yes it is. If you had just SUCKED it up and told him everything, he wouldn't be in some random broom closest sharing salvia with whats-her-name-hufflepuff-hoar._

Grrr...

_ITS TRUE YOU PRUDE._

I AM NOT A PRUDE. YOU ARE.

_Technically, I'm you. So you're a prude too._

GAWD. I AM NOT ARGUING WITH MY SELF.

_Hate to break it to you honey, but you are._

IRRITATING I SWEAR YOU'RE AS IRRITATING AS POTTER!

_But I don't have, and I quote, "BEAUTIFUL HAZEL EYES THAT ARE DEEPER THAN A THOUSA-_

I hate you.

_My life purpose has been fufilled._

Wanker.

_Pathetic Potter Stalker  
_

If you weren't me, I'd kill you.

_Meep.

* * *

_

Normal PoV

* * *

"LILLLLYYYYYYY" Alice whined at her best friend. "CAN YOU HELP ME WI-"

"No, " Aforementioned best friend sharply retorted, "Lily is not here right now."

"Huh?"

"She busy drowning her alter ego in the lake."

"Oh, i SEEEE."

"We are very happy for you."

"Can I leave a message?"

"After the beep, if you must."

"But there was no beep!"

"BEEP"

"Potter's looking for you."

Within milliseconds, Alice was alone in the common room, smiling deviously and chuckling to herself.

* * *

A/N: Review? Please? Tell me about your alter egos?

(mine was named Jacque but he acted badly so I had to kill him... and its not proper for a female like me to have a misbehaving male alter ego...

so he had to die.

painfully ..

ANYWAY ! I'm sure your alter egos are much more interesting.)

Love from, Miss Linux the Penguin


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